Older and….Well Just Older

Whomever coined the phrase “Growing Old Gracefully” ought to be punched in the throat!  It would seem that the aging process produces, among other things, new pains practically on a daily basis.  What once I thought was idle complaints from my elders are now a painful and persistent reality for me.  My joints hurt, my back hurts, I cannot bound up the stairs as I once did and even if I could I do not posess the energy to do so.  It gets to the point where your pain takes up a considerable amount of your daily thoughts as well.  You have to decide if its a pain that requires medical attention or if its a pain that is just another pain.  Its maddening some days!

This week I had to drive from my hometown in Moline, IL to Pittsboro, IN which is approximately a 5 hour drive.  There were points in this drive that were absolutely excruciating.  I seriously considered buying one of those wooden ball seat cover thingies to relieve the pain.  I take ibuprofen practically on a daily basis in addition to the other prescription medications that I’m on.  If you opened my medicine cabinet you’d think you were staring at an 85 year old man’s.  I have a pill-box for Christ’s sake! You know the ones that have the days of the week on it….its horrible.

Middle age snuffs out more talent than even wars or sudden deaths do.

There is just a whole potpourri of problems that await me as I continue to age.  My vision is getting worse, I’m growing hair in weird places, my knees creek and I pee slower.  I suppose that I could do some things to help myself but with a wife, a child, a job and more family obligations than I care to mention in this post, where do you get the time?  The astute would probably tell me that while I’m sitting here typing this blog post I could be getting physical at the gym or taking a walk.  Unfortunately for these pundits , the time I spend plopped down in front of my computer is MY TIME and I refuse to just give it up without a fight….besides its 9pm and its nearly bedtime.  How sad is that?

Middle age: when you’re sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.

There are some good things, I guess, about getting older…  I mean, I rarely get carded at the liquor store anymore, my car insurance has gotten cheaper and I suppose there is some sense of satisfaction in knowing that retirement is less than 30 years away.  I also would concede that watching my son grow up has been and hopefully continues to be a source of enjoyment for me.  I’m sure there is more but the pain in my back is preventing me from thinking clearly.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

So there you have it…my rant for the day.  I want to thank my friend Steve for making me think about this to the point I had to write about it.  My point?  I do not find that there is any grace in aging and having turned 40 has only further reminded me of this.  Mind you, it would be a tough decision to go back to my youth if I had the opportunity… to not know my wife or son and risk not ever knowing them would be too much to lose for me.  I have plenty to be proud of in my life and lots of love from my family and friends.  The memories continue to stack up both good and bad and I have few regrets.  I just wish growing old didn’t have to be such a debilitating physical journey to take.  Mortality becomes an increasingly common thought as you age and while I dont fear death directly, the list of items I doubt I will live to see grows longer.  Its a little sad sometimes.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.